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Believe in you

Self belief is something the is bread within each of us from birth.

However for some of us self belief become eroded or even robbed as we move through life.

How do you get it back? What does it mean to not have it? How can it impact you?

All very good questions, but let’s start with the one you probably want answering the most, how can I get my Self Belief back?

My honest answer…?

It’ll take work, some hard, some easy, but most of all you need to address the situation / person and or event that began the downward spiral of belief.

Control, coercion, abuse, mistrust, bullying, anxiety, low mood, depression, addiction and even insomnia can all contribute towards eroding your belief within yourself and your unique ability.

Work with a Therapist, talk to a family member, confide in a dear friend, but you MUST talk with someone. Overcoming your past can only be achieved successfully by confronting head on and taking away its power.

Working with a Therapist can become a financial barrier for many within this world, however there are a lot of FREE services available in every Country.

But in actuality it really doesn’t matter with whom you talk, just please be brave and utter the words, ‘can I have a word?’.

Once you take the power away from the event you free yourself from it’s clutches and in doing so allow yourself room to grow, to become who you’re meant to become.

However perhaps your lack of self worth is simply years of erosion of everything you deem to be worthy?

So I say to you, you’re not a tree, don’t stay where you’ve always been, change what you’re doing. If you’re not happy, change it.

If that change offends others, then that is not your issue, that is theirs. You can only be in charge of you and your life.

Belief comes with the knowledge that you have regained control. Take control of your life, your mind, your soul and your feelings and you will regain belief in yourself.

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Is that really me….?

It’s interesting the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we allow others to weave for us.

Sometimes we’re just to darn tired to notice that there may not be a strand of truth within it, so we accept it at face value, and we are either brought up or more often than not dragged unceremoniously down.

Now here’s my question to you, how about, no matter how tired you are, you ask yourself this one question before acceptance:

‘Is that really me?’

I guarantee that if you allow yourself but a moment before the story you’ve told yourself becomes a ‘one for the classics hits’ allow it to pass through the ‘really me’ you’ll discover either that you’re creating and believing something that simply isn’t true, or you’ll have time to appreciate how bloody awesome you are.

Either way, no matter how tired you are, or how busy, just take that moment, recognise what you’re telling yourself, and be kinder to yourself

Your own Path not expectation

In my job I’m privileged to meet so many individuals, from so many different walks in life.

Some are just beginning their Spiritual Journey others are a long way down it.

One consistent though, no matter who I meet, teach or Practice upon is the discussion about Your Path, Your Journey.

Every single one of us is on a Path, we weave into and out of others people’s path, coming close and then moving away, but no matter how close or for how long we are with another, ultimately it is our own Path.

Yet so often we walk our Path to please others…..

We don’t speak our truths for fear of upsetting Great Aunty Mildred….

We attend the gathering because it’s what Mum wants….

But why?….

Why do we punish ourselves for the overall aim of pleasing someone else, when in actuality we’ve no idea of it pleases them, or it’s actually what they want?

Expectation!

We expect it will please them…..

We expect its best to keep the peace….

Expectation is a funny thing!

It’s almost always an unspoken entity, either of ourselves or someone else.

A classic I hear is:

‘I’m expected to get all A’s’

to which I reply ‘wow! Who is expecting that?’

Normal reply ‘my parents, family’

‘Wow, really? They’ve said that?’

‘Well no, but you know?’

‘Hmm… no I don’t? Have they said they expect you to get A’s in your exams?’

‘No’

‘So how have you come to this conclusion?’

‘I dunno? I…. I….. I think I’ve created that story!’

‘Perhaps a better expectation from them of you, is for you to simply try your best?’

‘Oh yeah definitely!’

‘So who’s expecting you to get all A’s in your exams?’

‘No one!’

Expectation are unspoken falsehoods, that once spoken become nothing more than mist, floating away, carrying the weight they’ve placed on us as they go.

We as a society need to start talking to each other, strop creating this unspoken expectations of each other, and then getting pissed off when the other person fails to meet that expectation.

Allow your Journey to be free from worry, stress, pressure and expectation. Allow yourself the space and time to become exactly who you’re meant to be.

Improve Your Mood

This week I had the pleasure of spending time with many (many) 16 year olds who are just beginning their Sixth Form Journey.

We spoke about many things, including but not exclusively

  1. Harry Potter
  2. Game of Thrones
  3. Astronauts
  4. Architects
  5. Chinese tourists
  6. How old I am!!!
  7. Free diving
  8. University
  9. Buying a house
  10. Dancing

But the main theme throughout the day was to get across the message that at 16 years old they have the ability to take hold of their own mental wellbeing and therefore Improve Their Mood.

Your brain can be your own worst nightmare, feeding you stories that simply aren’t true, how ugly you are, how worthless you’ve become, no one likes you.

However with the support of Meditation and particularly Mindfulness you can slow your brain down and begin to break down those stories into exactly what they are – Little puffs of smoke that float away into the ether.

Getting hold of your mental wellbeing at a young age will enable you to form a solid and ever evolving relationship with it, because make no mistake your brain will, if given the opportunity, push you to breaking point.

You must start from somewhere, so how about this statement……….

‘ You matter, you’re important, and you’re going to make such an impact upon this world.’

This is not going to be some quick fix, because such a thing doesn’t exists. However if your practice mediating and living a mindful existence slowly you will slow down and improve your mood.